Ambition to Compete & lifes complications

I always get derailed! I am not in athletic shape but I know what my body is capable of & have had fitness bliss before. I admire the curves & definition of competitors & fitness models. I want to compete. There is one in November that gives me 12 weeks & one in March giving me 6 months to prepare & sounds more attainable. I am going to journal my path to my 1st competition.

I always start out well & do everything by the book for a few weeks & then I throw my hands up any time things dont go my way I do the whole emotional eating cycle. I Throw an emotional tantrum when things dont go my way, then...I make a conciouse choice to stick my middle finger up at the diet & workouts..next I hunt down sugary junk foody goodnes.then I eat an rediculouse amount of it. next I ponder on what I did. & it always ends w/guilt and being angry w/myself, then I Feel bad again..& the cycle repeats. So...this is my attempt to stick the middle finger up at my flabby booty & cellulite graced hams & continue my path in the mentally & physically healthy road.

I am starting on 8/16/10 Monday start days work best for me. I know its phsychological but what eva. I know what I need to do. Taking the required actions is a whole other story. So..Here I am puting it online announcing that I am going to compete In March 2011...6 months away in my first figure competition. I am not perfect. I have lots of bad days. I deal with Fibfomyalgia & a heart condition on a day to day basis. There are no excuses.  So anyone who wants to chime in...this is an open invitation positive or negative just the same.