Not Giving Up!!!

Every story has a beginning. I'm no starting mine with my birth or childhood. I'm starting mine with day one of my "life change".  I say "life change because a diet is a temporary thing and I'm in for the long haul.  I don't know the exact date this happened but it started a few weeks ago. 

Just a few weeks after our 6yr wedding anniversary, my husband announced he was unhappy and I qoute "..felt that way for awhile".  The news shocked me in a way I can't describe.  We had had our ups and downs but every married couple does.  When we sat down to discuss whether we were going to make it work or go our seperate ways, he started to rattle off a list of things that were wrong with ME.  He felt that he had done nothing wrong and our failing marriage would improve if I changed.  He then sat next to me and proceded to tell me he had already talked with coworkers about places he could move into.  He said that I could more than afford the current place we were renting on my own and all the utilities.  He said he would help out if needed and that he would take our son when I had to go to work.  I asked him if he still loved me and he couldn't answer.   I also asked him if he was interested in someone else and he laughed and told me "No, you're being ridiculous". 

A few days after this, I got up one morning and decided that I was not going to let myself fall apart over a man who CLEARLY did not deserve me.  I was oing to get myself out of my fat, lazy ,depressive slump and do something for me.  So I started watching all my portion sizes and eating 5 small meals instead of 3 big ones. My first weigh-in, I stood in front of the scale and panicked.  What if I had gained even more weight?  I had been eating so much more(in my opinion).  I took and breath and stepped on that scale.  I had lost 6LBS in just one week!!!!! I was so ecstatic.  If I could do that, I could do anything.

Now for a few months before this announcement of his, he had been withdrawing further and further from me.  I had a gut feeling something was wrong but I refused to acknowledge it.  I thought I was being paranoid.  Ladies, always go with your gut instinct.

Yesterday, I was at my mother's for one of the many Saturday BBQ's we always have. My husband, of course, was with me because since he still hadn't moved out, he wanted to keep up appearances.  At this point, I couldn't care less about what he wanted.  All the ladies were gabbing and talking and all the men went out to buy beer and get away for a few.  Whe they came back, everyone was hanging out and having a great time.

We decided to sit down and watch a movie.  My mom's best friend had to go because her husband needed to get some sleep.  A few minutes after she left, my mom got a call from her.  I listened as my mom got really loud for a minute and then got really calm.  She later came to sit besides me and told me what was going on.  Apparently, while the men were out, my husband had admitted he had met someone and was dating her.

Most women would rant and rave or cry themselves to sleep.  I did neither.  I went online and decided to find support ot keep me on track with my "lifestyle change".  First and foremost, I want to lose this weight for me.  But, a smaller more vengeful side wants to lose this weight to show my dirty, rotten, scumbag, cheating husband what he'll be missing out on.