Stuck at 10, but counting!

Well, I've never blogged before.  In fact, I have never shared this type of information publicly before.  Looking at me, most people would not even guess close to my actual weight- I am heavier than I look.  And even the closest of my closest friends only have a vague idea of my weight.  I am tired of "carrying my weight well."  I know I will never be a size 2 again, as I was in highschool.  Fact is, I probably was never meant to be a size 2 because to maintain that weight I had to survive on coca cola and crackers.  I would like to maintain myself in the single-digit clothing range, however.

I am constantly impressed by people who find the time and ability to commit to a routine and stick to it despite what life throws at them.  I try to, but one family emergency or another sends my world into a tail spin and I am the first to let myself go- cutting back on working out at the gym, cutting back on sleep, cutting back on basic maintenance (fingers and toes, for example), skimping on meals to make up for lack of working out, etc.  It seems that the emergencies of others have become an excuse for me to not take care of myself or put myself first and one thing I would like to change is to accept that although the emergencies and needs of others are very important, I need to come first in my life first before I can be able to be there for them...even when it comes to my baby girl I am no good if I am not good for myself (not to myself, but for myself).  What do you do when the person who is not good for you in your life is you??

I have some personal goals I want to achieve, and one of them is getting back into the gym and taking that 2 or 3 hours a week.  I want to do this but I want to do it without guilt, with pleasure and actually see rewards.  Anyone else at this point too?

I know this is probably the most boring blog entry ever, but like I said- never done this.  This is a new "something-something" I am trying to see if it helps me to work through things, get motivated, get more fit, and more focused.  I look forward to possibly sharing things with others, and hearing back from others about whether they have been where I am or are actually right here with me right now.  Who knows- maybe we can figure out some things together.

Till next time,

T.