Honestly speaking ....
Monday, January 3, 2011 at 11:53 PM filed under Diet & Nutrition postings
.... 2nd Blog Entry .... what a couple days of ups and downs.... I forgot how difficult it was to eat clean..... my body was going crazy and still is .... and begging for sugar..... I recently read don't eat anything white ... referring t refined sugar, processed foods, and bread..... so I have had a few banger headaches as my body is learning to live without all the crap that I have been putting into it for quite awhile.... I bought myself chewing gum.... and I am even limiting myself the amount of gum I chew because I know I will overdo it! Yep .... compulsive.... in very manner..... one thing I realized that I definitely eat out of boredom.... and probably every other emotion ... if I am honestly speaking.... but I had a moment! I need to incorporate exercise back into my life.... I found the excuse of taking my Christmas treee down, and yesterday it was cleaning the pantry.... things that needed to get done, but if I really want to get healthy exercise will have to be a part of my daily routine, which it once was.... faithfully.... I plan on getting the again, but need to stop making the excuse. In 2009, I ran a 1/2 marathon, and I am thinking I need to do that again this year, so I have a goal. I tried to train for a 1/2 last winter, and ended up pulling out because I didn't train.... I sold my entry to another willing soul who was so committed to health that she trained all winter, hoping to get a spot in the local race. Why did I drop out .... fear of failure. There, I said it. I have not either joined or pulled out of something because I was afraid of failing. Yep.... does anybody else care if I don't come in first... no ... I have to get over my own fears and move on.... look forward .... no one is going to judge me ....
honestly speaking .... I'm like the child still seeking approval... and really I just need to give myself my own approval to say ... it's okay... you're going to be okay ... you are okay.... move forward and live in the "now" and enjoy life.. be happy... you're allowed. Now I have to believe it! .... there I said, and every time I say it, it will help me believe that I am entitled to be happy and move forward ... and let go of all the hurts that have held me prisioner! I am so ready! Yep... until next time....
