Little Miss Porker

I have always been the overweight one in a group of people...this Christmas was especially tuff considering I was with inlaws this Christmas people that dont really know me and I feel tend to judge upon apperance. So here is alittle story we get to our desitnation after a hour and a half drive...Of course we have to stop at the nearest fast food joint so I can eat before I get there...so no one can judge on how much food I am stuffing my face with...We walk into the house and a few hours later dinner is served...feeling nervous of the folding flimsy chairs I rush to a solid wood chair to feel as comfortable as I possibly can. I ask my husband to get my dinner he fills a small plate for me of ham,potatoes,carrots and salad. I stuff my face full of this DELICOUS food wanting more but saying no when his father asked would you like more "Bella" I say no thank you I am full...he gives me these eyes this look like "HAHA I know you arent full" It was terrible... they offer out lemon pie for desert one of my true favorites I politely decline saying no no I am so full I couldnt bare to eat another bite...Watching all the people put the delicious lemon pie with meragine on top in there mouths just stuffing them full makes me want it...my mouth salavates I want it so bad..I want just one bite...But knowing myself as being self concious I cannot bare to...The dinner is finally done I am wanting sooooo badly to go home...and maybe even try to hit another drive thru on the way back...My husband wants to stay so we do...Im STARVED at this point in my mind although I know my body is not on shut down mode at all...I am craving food any sort of food for comfort...Anything at all... Needless to say we spent the night till the next afternoon and all i wanted to do was go home O but wait...and hit a drive thru on the way.

Bella Rose