here I sit once again...why would I think this would be any different...not sure maybe because he is 41 and at some point he has to become a father to my kids. well joke is on me I guess....why would I think he could stop by to help. I have 2 sick kids...I am still not well but my job is never done so I must push on. I spent 5 hours in the ER with my 9 year old....with  a broken foot....so why would I even bother to call and ak him to come by and help....grrrr me. I wish I knew how to rid him of my system...why would I kid myself to think somehow in hi life his kids would be first. well just like the 84 lbs I am working on.....I must too focus on getting this toxic soul out of my life. I mean really even when we were together I was alone. So as of TODAY....I will tackle every inch of my life. I got this!!!