Mindful eating

Breakfast is such a hard meal for me.  When I was thinner, I was eating a huge breakfast and tapering off the rest of the day, but it wasn't really a healthy behavior, getting up early just so I could eat huge amounts of food in secret.  Now I struggle with the question: should I binge like I was doing before, because I was thinner, and that's how I'll lose weight?  or should I make a concerted effort to eat smaller amounts at breakfast so my calories are less overall?  Then of course I worry that if I eat less at breakfast, I'll eat more at night, and even though I know it's physiologically not true, store those nighttime calories as fat.  

Breakfast also sets the tone for the whole day..if I eat more than I should (over 500 calories), I feel like the whole day has been ruined, and I might as well eat a million calories.  Unless I can find some way to "erase" the calories with cardio, but I would need to do 1.5 to 2 hours just to burn off the calories at breakfast, and I get really bored and my knees start to hurt after this pattern continues for several days. 

I hate food.  I wish I could just take a food pill and be done with it.