Wannabe Loser

Why is it I can only see the fat person I have become when I look at a picture? I don't seem that big to myself while looking in a mirror. Am I that delusional? I am 40 lbs over the weight where I'd rather be, 50 if you count how far I could probably go. I've dieted off and on but never really held myself to it. I lose a little and then feel so great about it that I have a donut and think...ah, I'll make up for it later. And I never do. Low carbing seems to be the only diet I can hang with for any length of time without leaving me feeling hollow and hungry, so here I go. My husband totally doubts me and feels like I will fail no matter what I try. So I have to prove him wrong now, which will be more satisying than the weight loss. (I think)