Be yourself

I have got to get to a point where food isn't the only thing I think about.  Now, during the summer I am home so much.  I just think about the next time I get to eat, how I will do it quietly, then how I will get rid of it.  I need to come to peace with myself.  WHY do I do this to myself, and HOW can I do something to make myself stop.  The most difficult part of this whole thing is that I can't get away from food.  I have to eat to survive.  I want so badly to feel better and be a positive role model for my children.  I want my children to grow up knowing how wonderful they are.  I want them to feel a great sense of self-worth, something that I always seem to be lacking.  What is so strange is that I am a wonderful person to every one but myself.  I pride myself in doing good for others.  I always seem to put myself last, and I need to learn to change all of that.  One day at a time, I HAVE to take care of myself.  So, I will take it one day at a time.