2 steps forward, 2 steps back
Friday, August 19, 2011 at 6:24 AM filed under Weight Loss postings
What has started out as a great week has quickly taken a turn. Monday and Tuesday I was like a shining example of how one should eat. Stopping when full, choosing light snacks and drinking tons of water. Naturally I was pretty proud of myself to see, on Wednesday that I had dropped 1 1/2 pounds since my journey began a week ago. Not too bad. I was honestly expecting to be disappointed and was pleasantly surprised....now 48 hours after that weigh-in I'm realing with guilt.
It all began Wednesday night when my son woke up sick. After back rubbing, and toilet scrubbing at 1:30 I was exhausted. I kept the kids home on Thursday to allow my son to recuperate, and apparently allow myself to vegitate. Did I mention I was exhausted. I ended up napping for 2 1/2 hours myself...and the hours I was awake during the day were spent watching movies, and snacking on granola bars and pudding cups. Luckily on my last grocery trip I tried to pick some "healthier" snacks...so I don't think the damage was major....early on atleast. Once my boyfriend got home from work at 1:30 I ran and got Panera for everyone (chicken orzo soup for the sicky) and vegitated some more. After 8 hours of feeling like a complete sloth I decided to get up and go run and errand that naaturally took me past McDonalds.....a large frappe later and my day ended with me feeling like a blueberried-out Violet Beauregard.
Back to work yesterday....did I mention I was exhausted. I was slow at work. didn't have much to do so to keep myself awake I decided a vending machine run and a three muskateers would do the trick! Pizza and garlic knots for dinner...I'm feeling guilty typing this.. I feel like a complete adulterer.
The thing is, I have no self control. It's almost as if I think "huh, I'm down 1 1/2 pounds I've got a little wiggle room." then I get pissed off to see the number on the scale go back up or not go anywhere. I know I have nobody to blame for this but myself. I'm the one who is choosing to sabatage any progress I've made. So how do I stop?
I'm definately a stress eater. When I'm stressed or run down I naturally crave food and don't want to exercise. I need to find a way to relieve my stress and energize myself with GOOD food and exercise. Deep down I know that i'll feel better and dig myself out of the rut if I make good choices, but the little voice never speaks loud enough. I need her to reach out, slap me across the face and tell me to put down the chocolate and go for a walk.
Ah well. No use beating myself up. Shit happens, and it's going to continue to happen. I just need to learn to deal with it a little more productively. Perhaps I need a plan in place for these kind of days. A sort of back up plan to help me find a happy middle ground. Anyone have any ideas?
