So when I was little I never thought life would be so hard. I realized I was fat when I went into the sixth grade. I learned to act like it didn't bother me, and after awhile it didn't bother me. I saw how those other girls acted and didn't want to be like that. So I was a little bigger. Big deal. Then two months after I turned sixteen, I found out that I was diabetic. It was the day after new years day. My doctor called me and told me to come in cause she needed to discuss my blood results with me. I knew then what it was. Diabetes runs all through out my family. So I had my weight and genetics working against me. So I went in with my mom. And was proclaimed diabetic!!! Now what? Well I went to the recommended classes, and got a glucometer. I was told to watch my carb and sugar intake and was given pills. Nice. . . But I was so scared to eat anything. And my mom took the news harder than I did. She went through the denial part. So I couldn't really say anything to her. I didn't want her more upset than she was already. But it's depressing when you stand in front of the refrigerator for hours so scared to eat. I would cry because I was hungry, but knew I would feel guilty after I ate. I didn't know what to do. It has taken me ten years to finally get control of it all. My a1c went from 10.3 to a 7.8. I am now trying to work on getting my weight down so that I will be healthier all the way around. It is still hard and I still get those feelings of guilt, but it is getting easier with each day.
