So yeah.....I,m 45 and its amazing how hard it is to even care anymore about getting bigger! Sure it bugs me when I put on my favorite top from thinner days and realize its no longer flattering, or when any decent jeans I had dont even fit over my hips. I tell myself its only natural, I,m getting older, I,m single, who cares anyways anymore. Even if I get thin again, I,ll still be 45, right! Besides seems all the ladies I know my age are all following suite, Bigger middles, but still smiling. So yeah..its pretty easy to brush it off, eat whatever I want, who cares if I,m excercising anymore,, ect goes the excuses. Then it hits me. Maybe this weight gain is more sinister than I thought....maybe its more a self medicating excercise. I,ve got two teens now, I work fulltime, I,m on my own in this life. Maybe eating more is how I sooth all those stresses away, distract myself from beng lonely by myself, scared sometimes. So once I realized this, it changed things for me. Because I need to be emotionally healthy right now, need to have my stuff sorted out, for the kids, I am after all a role model for them in these developing years, and what kind of message is it sending not really caring how I look or feel. So yeah....that scared me....and I thought ok dont bet yourself up about being 30 lbs overweight, but have a good hard look at how your managing life right now, and admit you can do better. And that I have no excuse for....because I know I can do better. So food...sorry but your not giving me what I need here, so I gotta say chow. I,m off to get scared and overwhelmed and stressed out sometimes. I,m off to care! For myself and these kids.
