I’m tired of “trying” for years to reach a weight and body that I’m happy with. My name’s Ally and I’m a repeat offender yo-yo dieter. To jump right in, I know what I need is not a diet, I need a lifestyle change and I am accepting and even wanting that, so by yo-yo dieter I really do mean yo-yo attempted lifestyle changer. Every time I try to get in a focused mindset and come up with a plan to lose the weight and change my life the same thing happens…
First I take a week or so to create a plan, allow myself some final binging while also honestly getting myself pumped up and motivated for change. The first two weeks I stick to my plan almost to the tee (more so with my diet, not as consistent with intended exercise). And I lose lbs quickly in those first two weeks. I feel much better (in terms of energy, mental clarity and confidence too) and I smile when I look in the mirror! You would think that would be enough to keep me going. BUT almost like clockwork, for some reason right around my two-week mark and after seeing great results I allow myself one cheat meal and next thing I know one morning bagel turns into take-out Chinese food the next night and every time I end up right back where I started. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat.
This time I’m putting my foot down. I’m tired of going through life (the ONLY life I have) being burdened by my insecurities, my lack of self-esteem, and allowing my weight to have more control over me and my life. This is MY life and I’m tired of how my ‘level of fatness’ dictates my days. I know I’m not a stick figure, but that’s okay. I’ve always been an athlete and I’m ready to get my inner athlete back into the world and have a smile on my face as I walk through life with my sexy curves (unlike the ripples I have now).
I do know that I want this for myself. I also have to be realistic and remind myself that I’ve wanted this for a long time and despite being a generally motivated and ambitious person in every other arena in my life…I have yet to achieve my weight loss goals and therefore what I have been doing obviously has not been worker. Insert definition of ‘insanity’ here.
Therefore…as I take the reins I also recognize that this time, if I’m to do this for real, I need to do it differently. Sure, I know I won’t be perfect and I’ll guarantee having bad days and I’ll want to quit but this time I need to help myself go above and beyond, dissect what it is that allows me to sabotage my weight loss plans, what mental benefits being overweight is doing for me and why I subconsciously hold onto it so much. It sounds almost crazy, but being overweight is some sort of protective factor for me. It is going to be grueling physically but also mentally this time around. I realize that the times I will likely learn the most about myself is when I notice myself self-sabotaging and when I start lacking motivation. Those are the times that I fear but this time, this time I truly aim to fight through it, and to truly get through this journey of learning to loving myself, to finding inner happiness, and to be able to walk through a whole day simply feeling good about myself, without always worrying about if I look too fat and needing to suck in my stomach.
First thing I’m doing differently this time around, is this. Talking to you. Blogging. I’m not against writing, actually enjoy it and have journaled here and there throughout my life. Side note: I am always extra wordy and can win awards based on the run on sentences that I pull off. I apologize in advance, however it is not something I am going to try to stay away from in my blog. For this to help me the most, I know I need to be real and to be real I need to let my mind flow and not be focused on grammar. Anyway, I’ve never blogged before, especially not my weight loss process. However, I think adding this as a tool for my journey can help provide a further sense of accountability while also building a support group, and a community/team of those that understand.
My goal: 20lbs in 8 weeks
So…hello there blog world. My name’s Ally and I’m ready to change my life. Join me?
