Food Addiction

Here I am, only on day three and already messing up.  Why can't I say no to food?  Why does it have such a strong hold on me?  I can't even remember a time when my happiness didn't depend on food.  I HATE it!  You know, almost any other drug addiction, one can just quit cold turkey (not saying that they could, but it's an option) but no, my addiction is a required to live.  I can't just walk away.  I want to be able to say no, I truly don't mind healthy food at home, but I just can't go out, it can't even be brought to my attention that it's an option because I CAN'T SAY NO. 

It's like once the option is there, my brain focuses on one thing and one thing only and that is getting food, bad food.  Sometimes I even have the state of mind to argue with myself and tell myself that the food isn't worth it and I'm going to feel horrible afterwards, but 9 times out of 10 I don't care.  I feel like I'm addicted to drugs and I'm just itching for my next hit.  The high is all that matters, nothing else does.  Not even the person who is my everything.  When will I be strong enough to say no?  I hate to say that today was not that day.  Hello, my name is chikap09 and I'm addicted to food.