Anything is possible

Wow. I didn't know how unflexible I was until I did Bikram Yoga (hot yoga). I always thought of myself as a "yoga type" person, but hadn't maintained a practice at it.  While I loved the spiritual, mind-calming, effects of yoga, the hatha and other varieties that the gym offered, after a while, were just so BORING!  I wasn't challenged and was too preoccupied with watching everyone else (dang, cute yoga pants...nice ass...that person is really starting to smell this room up).  I had been looking for something more exciting, fun, and intense. I signed up for a month of unlimited at Bikram Yoga and found everything I was looking for and then some.  For someone who has had OCD-like tendencies her entire life, this was an effing miracle class. You basically have to focus entirely on yourself for an hour and a half straight - meaning, you look directly at yourself in the mirror to help your balance, feel your breathing, watch and feel your muscles contract,  and clear your mind entirely. For such a long time, and in such high heat, it is pretty challenging. Scratch that - it's hard.  After the first session I thought it was pretty amazing. After the second, I didn't want to go back. After the third, I felt inspired. After the fourth, I knew I had a life-long practice ahead of me. Doing this yoga allowed me to not care as much about the weight, and to bring the focus back to how I FEEL.  I feel great.  I added weight training to keep up with the yoga poses and nixed my cardio almost entirely.  So while I gained back the 5 lbs. I lost last year, it hasn't really bothered me. This is a process and I know it will take time.  That said, I'm going all out next week to see if I can lose the 5 lbs. in a week again.  The last time I did this, it was hard but so simple. I just made myself get up at 5AM, workout for an hour in the morning and a couple times at night too, kept my calories at 1300-1500 and there it went, 5 lbs. disappeared from the scale. I was in shock and ecstatic that I did the "impossible".  So, I think it's time to do it again and then keep going.  The challenge will ultimately be whether I can keep the weight off.  Which means...maintaining a certain lifestyle.  A non-binge drinking, active, non-binge eating, conscious decision-making, ACTIVE, whole foods committed, lifestyle.  With warm weather and the farmer's market around the corner, I think I can have it.  I CAN have everything I ever wanted to have for my body - how I look, feel, and move.  So, enough with the pep talk, I'm going for a walk in the briskness and logging my calories again. You don't have to start over, and essentially, you're never starting over.  You're building upon your past decisions and actions. So build on some good ones today.