Change for Me

I finally got my ass motivated to get back on track with the diet.  Mostly because I have a doctor's appointment in 3 weeks and I need to be at the same weight I was at the last appointment or preferable weigh less.  I know losing weight takes time and there is not quick instant miracle fix to do it.  Unless I want to take like Hydroxycut which would totally fuck with my blood pressure, I am SOL for metabolism boosters.

I don't understand why I started putting weight back on in the first place after I had dropped almost 20 pounds last April/May.  It has to be because I was actually making myself eat regularly instead of just in the morning and after work.  As far as the end of year weight gain goes, I know that was just a combination of laziness and injury.  I admit I got really over the whole exercise thing and watching the diet.

I'm doing better for food.  I just need to get that mindset back that I had last year at this time.  I need to convince myself that I cannot  have certain things.  My goal should be to get off my meds.  My superficial goal should be to get out of plus sizes and into regular sizes. 

It's so hard not to be mad at myself for letting this happen.  I know things will fluctuate.   I  just have to keep reminding myself that it's not unfixable.  I'm not a loser for this happening.  I can't let myself get caught in that cycle that I have fallen to so much in the past.  I need support.