50 lbs in 50 weeks

made it through 24 hours eating real food, resting, doing what was at hand and not stressing about all that i had to get done. and i lost 1 lb. it's a beginning, and i don't even care if it is water weight - it's a step toward a new body and new me.

as i sit here eating my oatmeal with blueberries, flax seeds & walnuts, sipping a nice big cup of hot tea with milk & honey, the thought of eating junk food seems like the most foreign thing. but i know this sugar addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful and i am ready to do battle, if not for vanity, then for health reasons. and they are many.

the first and most obvious is the extra fat just looks awful. it affects my self-esteem and i cannot pull in my gut so i feel like a silly, fat person, not a confident, intelligent woman. its amazing how i can feel so powerless and small, and worthless! seeing my daughter this weekend and how beautiful, slim, healthy she looks next to my bigness was also an eye opener.

second, i hurt my back, no doubt from the extra weight around my middle. i twisted slightly and felt it happen. i'm nursing it now and trying to take it easy as i drop the first few pounds, before i go into workout mode. also, my breathing seems pretty asthmatic, which i have discovered is directly related to what i'm putting into my body... lots of dairy & sugar, mmmm-mmm, a sure recipe for coughing and wheezing and using the little red inhaler. yuk!!! all it takes to be well is to control what goes in! why is something so simple so difficult?!?

third, my teeth have begun to ache again, meaning the periodontal disease is rearing its ugly head. i need to save what teeth i have and not lose them as a direct result of me! how lame is that? that a 6 inch hershey bar, or a couple of cookies and a frozen coffee drink can have power over me??? well, they can't. no more. not for today, at least.