Trying to Amaze Myself

As I have told my ladies at the Curves Weight Management group on this site, my daughter (and one of her friends) has started going to Curves with me.  This is the 2nd or 3rd time for Teenager, as we have had some start and stops in the past.

Teenagers friend, was gung ho.  For about a week.  Then there were other things to do...like take a nap, spend time with the new boyfriend, watch TV.  Workouts were followed by fast food meals.  The "since I worked out...I can eat..." started.  Then the excuses came.

"Curves might work for you but it doesn't seem to work for me," was one of the mantras reported to me.  As I told Teenager, if you want results you need to get prepared to change many things about you.  The first is the lies you are telling yourself and in turn others.

How did I get so big?  There are the simple answers, like too much fast food, sugar laden soda, lack of exercise.  Everyone can see those very quickly although changing those habits are hardly easy.  The more difficult answer is: I lied to myself.  I LIED A LOT!!!

I started wearing sweats and knit clothes that stretched.  I stopped looking in the mirror.  I stopped looking people in the face.  I avoided places that might remind me of how much I weighed like clothing stores and amusement parks.  I made my husband or daughter do things I couldn't do.  Teenager told me about a woman she saw at Walmart who was so large she couldn't make it very far into the store before she had to stop.  She had a mentally handicapped child go get what she needed and just waited by the checkouts.

I had pain.  I had fatigue.  I had problems getting winded with exertion. I still do.  I have an autoimmune disorder, although they are rethinking which one it is, or if that is truly the problem.  However, I lied to myself and let that be the reason.  It was...but only in part.  Even though I have those things, as many do, and it probably won't go away, it was compounded by my weight.  However, I didn't want to accept that.  Then I had power to do something about it.  At that time, whether I liked it or not I didn't want to do anything about it.  I, in my own sick way, enjoyed my sense of powerlessness.  It allowed me to continue unchecked.  I didn't want to be responsible.  I wasn't ready to be responsible.  I wanted the excuses.

If you have taken my challenge, you have chosen to stop the excuses.  I am not your solution.  I am only here to guide you to where you are going.  You have chosen to change your life.  As you record you intake this week, take some time to think about the excuses you have made, the lies you tell yourself that makes it okay for you to remain at a weight that you are unhappy being.  Again it is time to get honest with yourself.  Keep up the good work.