Shooting for the Stars

So, it's my third day in, and I think my body's resisting. I've been doing the same amount of time, a half hour, but my miles are slowly decreasing. I find myself having more difficulting getting started on the elliptical, but I push myself to keep going because I know I need to. I haven't changed the level or anything yet. I think by the end of the week I will hopefully have those miles going up.

I'm proud of myself though. I mean, I originally planned only working out MWF, and I found the perfect time to work out TTh, so I go every day. I had hopes of going more than once a day, but once a day is a good start. I have noticed me eating less then usual. I eat 3 meals a day, sometimes a snack depending if I have something on me or where I am. I'm trying to get more water in me and I think it gets easier the longer I go without soda. Boy do I miss that soda though...

So, it's half way through the week. Today will be a day of lots of studying: Homework due tomorrow, Homework due Friday, maybe even Homework due Monday if I get a chance.... I don't want to have reading over the weekend. I want to be able to use that as my relaxation time. Plus, I rewrite my notes and I haven't even rewrote my lecture notes yet and I still have to write what I highlight in the readings. I definitely need to do laundry this weekend. Probably  not best to be sitting around reading all day, but I have no other choice. At least I'm staying away from snacking...

I need to start working on my sleep schedule. it's weird. MWF I have an 8am class and I'm making it to class like a minute late. TTh I have 11:20 class and I wake up around 7:30 or 8. Blah. I need to start going to bed earlier SuTTh's.

Right now I feel good, but I feel weak. I know I'll get stronger, especially in working out. I just feel alone though. I know, many people tell me I have to do this alone because I'm the only one who can change this, but I just wish I had at least one person who would join me physically. I do have one friend here at school, and although she says she will work out with me, I can't rely on her. I think, other than her boyfriend, she has commitment issues. I can do this though. 

If I could do one thing right now, I would be with my boyfriend. I miss him so much and I know how supportive he is to me. Well, sometimes he's not. He's my perfect guy... mentally and emotionally. He is also working on losing some weight, but he loves me just the way I am. I love that he loves me how I am, but it can be a disadvantage too. Because he sees me the way I am, I don't have to worry about losing him because I'm fat. Sometimes I tell him he needs to agree I need to lose some weight. So then he tells me, "If you feel the need to lose weight to look better or be healthier, just remember I love you just the way you are!" Thanks Babe. If you think I'm perfect now... Wait until I am healthier and skinnier... In your eyes it'll make something more than perfect.